Lost Treasures
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (1973)
director: john newland
cast: kim darby, jim hutton, barbara anderson, william demarest, pedro armendáriz jr., lesley woods, robert cleaves, sterling swanson, j.h. lawrence, william sylvester, don mallon, celia kaye, ted swanson, felix silla, tamara de treaux
With
the recent success of the no-budget “Blair Witch Project” and a resurgence
in the horror genre, we at “HO” decided to search back in our collective past
to come up with a little flick that scared the crap out of us when we were
mere toddlers. Remember those great Saturday afternoon movies that haunted
your youthful memories and invaded your nightmares? We chose a seemingly low
budget film (which turned out to be a made-for-TV, Movie of the Week) called
“Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” (1973). Have you ever sat down to watch an old
personal favorite of yours and painfully realize how awful it really is? Well,
imagine the shock of laughing through an adolescent fright fest. I thought
twice about suggesting this “gem” but the concept of “movies as entertainment”
got the better of me so I strongly recommend renting “Don’t Be Afraid of the
Dark” tonight (if you can find it)!
Wind, whispers and a Victorian mansion set up the plot in less than a minute. Loving couple Sally and Alex Farnham inherit a gothic house from Sally’s recently deceased grandmother. Sally manages to open a strange room that has been locked for many years. Let the fun begin. Kim Darby (True Grit, Teen Wolf Too) is Sally, the wife who sets out to refurbish the mysterious room, which contains a bricked-up fireplace. After inquiring into why the fireplace was sealed, Harris the Handyman (William Demarest –“The Jazz Singer,” cantankerous Uncle Charlie from “My Three Sons”), warns her not to mess with it.
If
you believe fear lies in the dark, then this movie should scare you to death
since it is possibly the darkest movie ever produced. The director of photography,
Andrew Jackson (“Dragnet”, “Bret Maverick” television shows) seems like he
had two flashlight-sized lights to work with. Anyway, not heeding Harris the
Handyman’s warning, Sally breaks open the fireplace with a convenient sledgehammer.
Jim Hutton (“Where The Boys Are,” “Who’s Minding The Mint” and real life father of Timothy Hutton) is Alex, who hankers to become
a partner in his law firm and schedules a gala party at the new mansion. Sally
is less than enthusiastic about Alex’s corporate ladder climbing.
To criticize this
movie for gaffes is pointless - you just combine them for pure cinematic entertainment.
So Sally sets free three mysterious, ferocious, demon-esque, midget, animal-like,
prune heads. The three little devils wreak havoc, throw ashtrays and possess
Sally (or something like that). Sally is “contacted” by the midget 
creatures
(they’re actually about a foot tall) as they grab her from behind the drapes.
Yikes! Alex thinks Sally is imagining it all in response to her disliking
his rise to “success” and her desire to escape her surroundings. Party night
arrives (consisting of something like three couples in evening wear) and Sally
sees the pint-sized walnut heads all over the house. You always know when
they are about to show their twisted mugs with a musical-queue and a strange
blue glow. So Sally flips her wig at the dinner table and everyone thinks
she’s nuts.
The critters struggle
to go around the house, up the stairs and into flower arrangements. They bop
around on sets that look like they were recycled from “The Incredible Shrinking
Man” or “Land of the Giants.” At times you can’t tell what these little tykes
want. Do they want to possess Sally or kill her, or drive her crazy? Who cares,
just go along 
for
the ride. There’s the obligatory shower scene, which is pretty creepy and
funny, as Sally figures out the creatures need to stay in the dark. Ah, a
weakness. Pedro Armendariz, Jr. (“Chisum,” “License to Kill”) plays Fransisco
the Constipated Decorator and falls (literally) for the old string-across-the-top-step
gag, perpetrated by the demons, and dies. At the height of the climax the
annoying music reaches a deafening crescendo, and as I reach to lower the
volume, the midgets drug Sally and cut the electricity and phone line. She
is now caught in the house alone. It’s amazing how these tiny buggers get
around… and there are only three of ‘em! Alex finally believes Sally after
Harris the Handyman “explains” the history of the creatures (loosely and badly)
and they race home to save Sally.
I can’t tell you anymore, it’s getting late… I suspect the ending is not something you would see today. Director John Newland started out as an actor in such films as “Gentlemen’s Agreement” and “T-Men” before embarking on TV directing duties on various weekly shows. The whole movie is 74 minutes short… for a 90-minute television MOTW. George Hamilton was originally slated to play Alex but he turned it down. The movie’s sole purpose is to scare you. Rent it and if “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” still gets to you after all these years, invest in a night-light or some extra flashbulbs in case “they” come calling for you… Sally, join us!… Sally… Sally… join us!… -- Guido Sanchez
© 2000 Hollywood Outsider