Can’t Hardly Wait (1998)
director: deborah kaplan
cast: harry elfont, jennifer love hewitt, ethan embry, charlie korsmo, lauren ambrose, peter facinelli, seth green, michelle brookhurst
“Can’t
Hardly Wait” is yet another teenybopper flick celebrating the awkwardness and
pain of youth, and in particular, high school. It’s an ensemble piece (ala “Fast
Times at Ridgemont High”) but centers on a shy but nice guy, Ethan Embry, who
has been carrying a torch for torrid wench Jennifer Love Hewitt (that sickeningly
sweet cutie-pie from “Party of Five” with the big melons) for all four years
of high school. The story takes place during the course of one crazy night at
a blowout graduation party. The setup is that Hewitt has just been dumped by
her dumb, jock, asshole boyfriend and everyone wants to see how little Jenny
is holding up. All the usual clichéd characters are represented. There’s the
goofy foreign exchange student (taught to say dirty bits of English like, “Do
you want to touch my penis?”), a nerdy brainiac who’s transformed (by drinking
beer) into a cool rocker singing Guns and Roses’ “Paradise City”, bimbo cheerleader-types
whose heads whistle whenever there’s the slightest breeze, and a slew of other
square pegs (fat kids, kids with bad hair, kids with bad clothes, not to mention
dumb, jock assholes).
The only standout in this yawn-fest is a disaffected carrot-top played by Lauren Ambrose. Ambrose manages to bring some dimension to her part of a self-conscious young woman isolated by her refusal to play the social games of the various cliques. For this reason, she’s thought to be a snob. She winds up locked in a bathroom with her old junior high school boyfriend who’s now a “wigger” (Seth Green) and the two make a connection.
“Can’t
Hardly Wait” lacks a dramatic core to hold it all together. It’s a series of
marginal vignettes and the most important event of the story takes place just
before the movie starts – the breakup of Hewitt and her jock. As an audience
we sit through the aftermath, which is the amazement of their fellow students
on how unthinkable their breakup is. When we do see Hewitt and the jock together
it becomes a more relevant question to ask how these two kids with zero in common
ever stayed together for four years in the first place. However, it is extremely
hard to care. It’s also hard to care about reticent Embry and his reluctance
to take action and let his feelings be known to Hewitt. His most decisive moment
is to confront a stripper (Jenna Elfman) who has ruined his phone call to a
radio program that has Barry Manilow as a guest – I’m not going to explain why
because it’s lame. “Can’t Hardly Wait” wanted to be an updated “Fast Times at
Ridgemont High” or “Sixteen Candles” but fell way short. The movie had situations,
just no story -- NOT TO MENTION, NO NUDITY! A teen-flick without nudity? What
the hell? -- Tom Graney
$1.13
© 1998 Hollywood Outsider™